Monday, December 27, 2004

Clicks, Kisses and aieeeeeeeee

On second thought, I've decided to not write about the heading I just typed. It just happens to be another one of those embarassing things that mysteriously happen a lot to the likes of me. Just something to feel humiliated about for a day and then forget about (like I have a choice).

"Aieeeeeeeeeeee" is practically what I said after looking giving a mock AIEEE test. Bloody difficult and absolutely no time to finish. And of course the questions I did finish were wrong, resulting in more negative marks than positive. Just another test to prove tham I'm a duphus. (I dont think that's a real word but it just seemed perfect to describe me at the moment.

If things couldn't be worse, well they are. I have been called a bitch a zillion times in the last two weeks, thats more than in my entire life, and that too by my best friends!! I know what I did might have seemed mean and bitchy, but there are reasons behind everything, and they were well aware of the reasons, and if they actually think about it, they'd know that I was right. The thing is, I knew that I would called a bitch at first, and I was okay with it. But there's a limit to everything. Afterall, they are my friends, and at the end of the day, I expect them to be on my side and support my decisions. And this most of them failed to do.

Anyway, pre-boards are on my head now, so I guess I'll take a break from blogging and write again later.

Hopefully in a better state.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Weird Trio

It’s weird how the most unexpected people turn out to be the people you care about the most. Take for example, the people in my bus. Each and every person in it is totally unique. You find people of all ages, colour, size and nature. We have the popular kids, the talkative kids (no points for guessing who that title goes to!), the geeks, the nice neutral kids (you know, the ones who are always present during the fights but are mysteriously never involved in them…), and of course, we had the weird trio.
Of course, to understand the extent of weirdness of the weird trio I must take you through the weird history of this particular weird group. As you can see, I’m using the word ‘weird’ a lot. I looked up the thesaurus to try and make this passage less monotonous, but none of the ten words offered were anywhere near describing us. There’s only one word for us, yup, you guessed it, weird.
The oldest member of the group was a certain irritating boy called, let’s say, Mr. Magician (names have been changed to prevent me from being sued). I don’t know what his problem was, but he found great joy in troubling me and a friend of mine. Now that I think about it, I think I got my hair cut short because of him, I was just so sick of my rubber band being pulled off. This was one guy I hated, simply because he loved making my life miserable. But of course there finally came payback time, and I found something to trouble and tease him about. I screamed stuff out in the bus, loudly, over and over, until his face was totally red, and he started staring out of the window. You know how they call it ‘sweet revenge’? hoggumping crap!!! That’s when I realized that this guy had just started hating me. And then I fell in love with him. Why? Because I’m me. I like guys who never like me, and I do stupid stuff like particularly choosing the ones who at the moment hate me, and at most times the feeling is bloody mutual. Confused??? Welcome to my twisted and confusing life. But over the next year, we actually started talking, and I realized that the monster I was in love with was actually almost a human being. And that’s how our friendship started.
Member no.2 was a certain Ms. Reddy (all pun intended). Now she thought I was a total freak, and well, I’ve been known to have called her stuff like fish-face behind her back. But we were on nice hi-bye terms. We were actually decent friends. But that didn’t change the fact that she thought of me as a freak. I don’t really blame her as I used to start singing and dancing in the middle of the bus, and she used to get utterly embarrassed. But all that was about to change drastically. You see, the only reason that I didn’t mind doing the weird stuff I did was because I’d finally stopped caring about what people thought about me. Let us call that the condition of being ‘floopy’. This is caused due to certain flooping. Don’t try to figure out what im trying to say, because, well, you won’t be able to figure it out. I was flooped at the time, and that made me happy and carefree. Ms. Reddy totally disagreed with my shameful behavior, until she too, got flooped. And that was the beginning of the making of the biggest weirdo that this earth has ever seen, and if God is kind, will ever see.
Ms. Reddy didn’t approve of my friendship with Mr. Magician, she thought I was silly and chipkoo, until one day, when she got to sit with him. I never heard the end of her praise of Mr. Magician then. Suddenly he had become this nice guy who she thoroughly approved of and encouraged our friendship. In only a few months, the three of us became best friends. And then it happened. Mr. Magician got flooped.

The weird trio had been established.

Look out for more on the weirdness of the weird trio, coming up next week.

NOTE: No weirdoes were harmed during the writing of the above blog.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Q. What’s worse than having your mother or your sister screaming at you?
A. Having your mother and your sister screaming at you.
It is soooo infuriating. There are just these times when they seem to decide to team up against me. So anything that I possibly say or do has to be wrong and has got to be oh so rude. I say something to mum, and sis will scream at me for being rude and impudent. Say something to sis and of course, there’s mum, shouting at me for showing no respect to my elder sibling. Talk to them in normal tones, and that’s what works all the time. Yeah right! In a perfect world maybe. And this world is just as far from perfect as is possible. In a perfect world everything would be equally divided. I know the first thing that comes to your mind is the inequality in the distribution of wealth. But, hey people, this is my blog, and hullo, it has to be about me! I’m talking about the distribution between me and my sis. She’s the elder one, so there are, of course, no hand-me-downs for her. She has new clothes for her extremely pretty face, a sweet voice and a smile that charms and melts people into the ground. And though she’s fatter than me, being taller, that doesn’t show. Come on God, at least she could have been fat!!! I am on the other hand, not that greatly blessed in the looks section, shorter and hence look fatter, have a voice which changes every two days (it has been known to be described as a squeaky yet low voice, if that was possible) and lastly I hate being falsely nice to people. I just can’t pretend to like a person and then bitch about the person behind his/her back. This of course has adverse effects on my popularity. It takes quite a bit of understanding on my friends part to get used to my truthfulness which often is mistaken for rudeness. So it is not difficult to guess which one of the siblings of our family is easier to like at first sight.
As if all that was not enough, since sis is now married and has gone away from the house, when she is back in the house, whatever she does has to be right. If there’s a fight, according to both the grannies it’s probably my fault. In a fight, her blows are conveniently looked over while a little slap from me is quickly reprimanded. And to top it all, there are times like today when I get to hear my mum and my sis angry at me. Perfect little world my bloody yet extremely huge (size8) foot!
Now I know that I haven’t been fair in whatever I’ve written above. After all, it’s not my sis’s fault if she was born extra pretty or if people tend to like her more. (her fake sweetness though, I’ll never forgive!) and of course, when my mum is angry at me there are quite a few chances that I might have done something wrong. Of course, there are also quite a few chances that she’s just bugged with someone else and is taking it out on me. But the thing to be understood here is that I’m in 12th standard, with the pressure of boards and college on my head and I need a way to vent out all my frustrations. I figured the best way to do so is to write, and in my writing I have the right to be mean and say whatever I want to. Even though I know, that I will probably not post this, and if I do I’ll take it down pretty soon. Cause deep down, I know I just said stuff about people who mean more to me than anyone else, people with whom I’ll always fight, people with whom I can’t stay angry for long, people who I love.

Monday, December 13, 2004

The unexpected

There are only two events which I look forward to the entire year. The school b'day and the fete. This year, being our last, was even more special. the wierd part about these functions are that the unexpected just about always happens. On the fete, for example, people who I had been expecting to spend the day with and have fun with were barely even there while I ended up spending the entire day with people I was pretty sure I could not endure the entire day (and vice versa, I'm pretty sure, I ain't that easy to be with). and the best part is, I actually enjoyed myself more with them. Now whether that was due to the fact that I was hell bent on enjoying myself, or whether a particular moody person was in a surprisingly good mood, i don't know. Either way, yesterday was fun, even though it led to today - which is the day for ppl to get serious n start studyin....(or so most people's mums think)

Friday, December 10, 2004

The Human Story Machine

I’ve always been fascinated by novels and stories. After all, they take you into this magical land where everything is perfect and oh so amazing. So I wondered, wouldn’t it be amazing if I could create my own magical land, where the characters are of my choice and they do what I want them to do? With this idea in mind, I wrote my first so called "novel" when I was in 7th standard. I proudly showed my novel, entitled "Adventure Land" to my mom. I’m guessing that either she had great expectations from me as a writer (cuz she’s good at it) or that I’d been bragging about my writing a lot, because she was extremely disappointed with me. She tried her best to motivate me, and told me in her kindest words that Adventure Land should have been actually called "Garbage Land" because it was a total piece of trash.

My amazing writing skills were hence buried in the landfill, for a few years, while I concentrated on other hobbies. In 9th however, I was forced to write for a competition in an hours time (under the threat of being failed in English if I didn’t) and submitted it without even making mummy read it. And lo and behold…the story actually won a prize! My mother was skeptical for a little while, she was sure I had copied it from somewhere. But once I convinced her that it was quite original, she actually – hold your breath, here it comes – praised me!!!

Dan Hurley is commonly known as the Human Story Machine. You give him a topic, and he spits out a story, in 60 seconds!!! He’s written thousands of stories by now, and he still hasn’t stopped. Inspired, I tried writing a split second story, obviously with disastrous results. Not only did I not manage to write it in a minute, it wasn’t really even a story. By the way, the character has been slightly inspired from someone I know, hopefully he won’t mind. However, I shall not cease to try. I decided I’ll post my first story. Comments are welcome.

Everybody knew Xander, and of course everybody liked Xander. How could one not like him? After all, he was just the perfect person. Okay, he could be rude at times, but that was in his nature, surely he was just joking. And look at the positive side, if one could get over the rude comments, one actually got the chance to hang out with Xander.
Who was Xander? Xander was this amazingly cool person, who was great at academics and any extra curricular activities he took up. Not without reason though, he worked hard to achieve his goals, and hard work is always fruitful. He was a favourite with teachers for competitions, and among fellow students for his great voice and talent at playing various instruments. Which girl would not like to go out with a lead guitarist with that amazing voice that every guy craved?
But Xander sighed as he looked at the people around him. There was only one word that came into his mind – fake. He hated fake people. Everybody around him, who he called his friends were fake. Of course he did not realize that they were trying to be more and more like him, he just saw them behaving as somebody they were not.
Obviously, being so popular, Xander had gone out with a few girls, but it had never worked out. In fact, he was going out with a girl right now, he actually liked her a lot, but he knew it wouldn’t last long. For all he knew, he’d probably end up as a sixty year old bachelor, no girl, no teeth, and no great voice.
What Xander doesn’t know is that when he’s 24, he will perform at a friend’s party and among the applauding crowd, he’ll notice a face, one he’d never seen before, but gave him the feeling he’d known it forever. That girl will be like no other girl he’d have met before, she won’t be fussy, she won’t be mean or catty, actually she might not even be pretty. But he will see her and notice her.
Now, I don’t know if they’ll actually be attracted to each other at that instant, my guess is that it’ll take time. They might not even like each other at first, but it’ll happen, and one day they’ll fall madly in love with each other. I do not have the liberty to predict any more details, but I can say one thing with confidence – Xander will not end up as a sixty-year-old bachelor.

The Gift

Since I have been inspired to start my blog today by a very special yet extremely rude friend of mine, I chose the blog's name from something he had once said. I have been known to have the Gift of Gab but according to him it should be called the curse of gab....then he went on to add that my friends are the ones who are cursed because they have to listen to my Gift of Gab....and this is where he went on to confuse everyone listening to him. so while people are still decidiing whether it is a gift or a curse I got the perfect name for my blog.
Anyway, I am of course an extremely self centred person, so my guess is that most of my blogs would consist of things revolving around ME. MY thoughts, MY friends, MY likes and dislikes, and of course MY gab.
Dont read this if it bores you, which it probably will, but do read on if you dont mind cheekiness, rudeness, confusedness (I dont think thats a word!), and basically non-sensical musings. I'm not sure if I'll actually be regular...but I'll sure as hell try. Lord only knows I have a lot to say at all times. but then I usually call up my rude but surprisingly patient friend and dump all my thoughts on him. Hopefully, my blogging will give him a bit of relief.