It’s funny how the smallest things in life can turn into ordeals for some. Shoe shopping for example, has always been something I look forward to, and something that makes me cry.
It’s almost impossible to find the perfect shoes that you set out to hunt for.
Kinda like men, dontcha think?
Anyhoo…shoe shopping has ALWAYS been a task for me. Some simple things I wish salespersons would keep in mind:
Am I looking for shoes? In a shoe store? Jeez! That’s a tough one. Let me take a moment to think about how to answer that in a correct and precise manner.
No, you can’t help me. Because you can’t carry my feet around and push them into shoes, you know?
No, just because you thrust that shoe almost up my nose, doesn’t mean I can appreciate its prettiness any more than when it was sitting on the stand looking ugly.
I’m already 5’6”. Try not to make me over 6 feet tall, if possible.
I know my feet are big. Pointing to the men’s section does not win you any brownie points. Well, you know what they say about men with big feet… Oh wait. That doesn’t apply here, does it?
When I say I wear a size 39, try to trust me. Don’t get me a 36 and ask me to trust you. Especially when your plans for the next two minutes involve shoving my foot into a casket too small for it.
The purpose of my shoes are to keep my feet comfortable. I don’t need to be able to see my reflection on them. That’s what mirrors in loos are for. Or up someone’s skirt. That’s what the Delhi perverts are for.
Oh you think they’re perfect? Buy them then na.
Try not to look at my bathroom slippers to judge whether I’m worth your time or not.
Try to not frown because its 21:01 when I’m helping you meet your month’s target, ALDO bitch.
Yeah, ok, so I have a bone to pick with a certain ALDO saleswoman. But that still doesn’t change the fact that shoe shopping can be a pain.
But in my experience, you also happen to find the perfect pair when you least expect it. When you were just ambling along with a friend who’s going frantic looking for shoes. Or when there are two minutes left for the store to close, and the saleswoman is breathing down your neck. Or when Aliens attack, and in the last few moments of life, man’s most exquisite creation presents itself to you, in your size, and the colour you wanted…
Mumbai monsoons. That damned season of the year. It’s back again. Early apparently. How sweet of it.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside right now. Cats and dogs. Funny phrase. I wonder what would actually happen if it rained cats and dogs. A lot of yelping and screeching, I think.
Saw the latest X Men last night. Oh speaking of superpowers and movies, I remember the time I went for the most boring movie on the planet with some friends and Morrison turned to me in a crucial scene and asked, “What’s your superpower?”. First time I met Morrison. And I didn’t know my superpower. Of course I also didn’t know that his name wasn’t Morrison till like a year later. I did find out that he could fly under water, though.
Oooooh, and I’m in love. With my new umbrella. It’s dark blue, with little white hearts, and a white frill at the end. No no, don’t adjust your glasses, lil nerd, or your lenses lil-nerd-in-hiding, you read right. A blue umbrella with hearts and a white frill. Yup. It’s the cutest gift ever. And it’s mine….my precious! <3
Did you know that if you find a fly in your food in Mainland China, and don’t make a fuss about it, you get a free starter? And a membership card? Next time I plan to swap the fly for a dessert. I'm sure the fly won't mind.
Ooooh, I could do with some nice dessert just about now.
I miss Nirula’s HCF. Gooey chocolatey bliss.
Blah, now I miss home.
In the past one month, I have had Iranian food, Kashmiri food, Mughlai, chopsuey, food cooked with love, and food cooked by me.
Ok, so I might have lied about the last one.
In the past one month, I have not looked at the weighing machine.
I forgot what I wanted to write about. I’m forgetting so much nowadays. Should start writing them down.