For the Love of Shoes

It’s funny how the smallest things in life can turn into ordeals for some. Shoe shopping for example, has always been something I look forward to, and something that makes me cry.

It’s almost impossible to find the perfect shoes that you set out to hunt for.

Kinda like men, dontcha think?

Oh well.

Anyhoo…shoe shopping has ALWAYS been a task for me. Some simple things I wish salespersons would keep in mind:

• Am I looking for shoes? In a shoe store? Jeez! That’s a tough one. Let me take a moment to think about how to answer that in a correct and precise manner.
• No, you can’t help me. Because you can’t carry my feet around and push them into shoes, you know?
• No, just because you thrust that shoe almost up my nose, doesn’t mean I can appreciate its prettiness any more than when it was sitting on the stand looking ugly.
• I’m already 5’6”. Try not to make me over 6 feet tall, if possible.
• I know my feet are big. Pointing to the men’s section does not win you any brownie points. Well, you know what they say about men with big feet… Oh wait. That doesn’t apply here, does it?
• When I say I wear a size 39, try to trust me. Don’t get me a 36 and ask me to trust you. Especially when your plans for the next two minutes involve shoving my foot into a casket too small for it.
• The purpose of my shoes are to keep my feet comfortable. I don’t need to be able to see my reflection on them. That’s what mirrors in loos are for. Or up someone’s skirt. That’s what the Delhi perverts are for.
• Oh you think they’re perfect? Buy them then na.
• Try not to look at my bathroom slippers to judge whether I’m worth your time or not.
• Try to not frown because its 21:01 when I’m helping you meet your month’s target, ALDO bitch.

Yeah, ok, so I have a bone to pick with a certain ALDO saleswoman. But that still doesn’t change the fact that shoe shopping can be a pain.

But in my experience, you also happen to find the perfect pair when you least expect it. When you were just ambling along with a friend who’s going frantic looking for shoes. Or when there are two minutes left for the store to close, and the saleswoman is breathing down your neck. Or when Aliens attack, and in the last few moments of life, man’s most exquisite creation presents itself to you, in your size, and the colour you wanted…

But you do find them, when you least expect it.

Kinda like men, dontcha think?

Oh well.