Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Final Plunge

Even though I was trembling, my eyes sparkled with determination. I had spent a long time thinking things through, trying to find a better solution, but all my efforts had failed. This was the only option left, to end things, once and for all.
As I started climbing, I became very conscious of how overweight and unfit I was, just one of the problems in my life. My feet seemed to be made of lead, each step taking my utmost concentration and determination. In my life, I’d chickened out of a lot of things, but not this time. Well, at least after this, they’ll feel sorry for all those times they teased me.
I felt the wind ruffling my hair as I reached the top. The view from such a height was breathtaking; everything seemed so calm and peaceful, as if there wasn’t a problem in the world, so fake. For a moment, I forgot my purpose for being there, and just stood there, enjoying the freshness of the morning air. But another gust of wind soon brought me back to my senses. Slowly, I made my way towards the edge. Peering over, I suddenly felt a knot in my stomach and quickly stepped back, afraid I might throw up. Dazed by the height, and the thought of what I was going to do, I crouched down, holding on tightly to anything I could find, one last time. I closed my eyes as shadows of doubt started creeping into my mind, and reminded myself of all the reasons I was there, of why I had to do this.
Shouts from below snapped me out of my reverie, and I heard footsteps behind me. Turning around, I saw him, the only person I had ever looked up to, in fact the reason I was here, doing this. For a moment I felt relieved, but the anger in his face made me freeze. At once, I knew I had failed him.
As he reached me, he held out his strong arms. I streched my arms to hold onto him, but to my surprise, he did not hold me. My eyes widened as I suddenly felt him push me, his face more determined than I had ever seen, his eyes almost red. As if in slow motion, I felt myself lose balance, my feet sliding off the edge, arms flapping wildly, hoping that by some miracle I might be able to fly. And then I felt the weightlessness. My life flashed before my eyes as I fell down, gaining speed every second. I was just about to say my last prayer when I hit the hard water, head first.
It took me a few seconds to realize what had happened. I quickly surfaced, gasping for air and swallowing huge amounts of water. Through the buzzing in my ears, I heard people cheering, and turned around to wave at my friends. I looked up into the sky, and saw my swimming coach standing on the diving board, looking satisfied. I had finally done it. I had finally gotten through my first dive.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The curse is back

After a long time away, which I can’t truthfully say was for studies, I’m finally back. A lot has happened in the past year, and I think just about everyone I knew in school has changed a lot. Or maybe, I have just changed a lot. No, college life didn’t suddenly get to me, though it is a lot more fun than school, and definitely has a lot more perks. For the ill informed, I’m currently doing economics honours from SRCC. And even though I was sure I was gonna hate this geek filled college, as it turned out, there are still a lot of cool and genuinely nice kids here, who do everything but study! Neway, have made a lot of really good friends, and have managed to have my share of pending fun, what with bunking classes (which of course I realized, a little too late, isn’t all that great a thing once exams are on) watching way too many and too crappy movies (shaadi no 1 being one of then, need I say more?) and basically becoming even weirder than before!
Now my first year of college is over, a little too fast t seems, and I look back, and somehow feel disheartened. What have I really achieved? Many years later, when I look back at these days, what would I actually be looking at? Studies are the last thing on my mind these years, really not a priority anymore. So what am I doing other than that? Actually, you know what, I had been planning on writing a lot on that, but at the moment, I have only questions, barely any answers. And I also know that no one else can ever answer them for me. So instead of boring all of you, like I have done so often before, I guess I’ll keep it to myself.
Oh, by the way, I’m part of the team of Candid Expressions, a magazine started by some of the seniors in my college, basically for students to voice their opinions without having to old back. So if anyone is interested in writing in, do tell me.
So, cya people…
I’ll keep the blog updated…
Like I said, the curse is back…