Tuesday, August 15, 2006


There comes a time in everyone’s life when one stops and simply thinks… what am I doing? This may come in middle age, or maybe at the time of retirement, or maybe even in your teens. The important thing, when it does happen, what do you do?
I guess that will depend on the answer to the question I mentioned in the beginning, “What am I doing?”. If you’re satisfied with the way things are going, you’ll probably just smile and continue doing exactly what you have been doing your entire life. Others, who might not be fortunate enough to be satisfied, would probably go into a depression about how their life sucks. And then there will be those who will be depressed for a while, but will soon decide that it’s not too late to change things.
I just realized that what I’ve written is utterly boring, and anyone unfortunate enough to actually read all this is probably cursing me right now. But what I really wanted to write about was simply a problem that might crop up after this stage.
So suppose you decide you’re going to change things. You realize that your life has been pretty useless till now, and you make plans to make it better. And when the time finally comes, you follow your plans. Or at least, you try to.

What do you do when after trying to change your life, you realize you can’t?
What do you do when till now you thought your life was useless, but now you feel that it is actually you who is useless?
Do you try to change yourself?
Or do you wish you had never reached the point of questioning your life?

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Is it the pain, that makes you wish you were dead, just so you wouldn’t feel it?
Is it the inevitable depression, that endless pit, which has no beginning nor end?
Is it the loneliness, the numbness you feel even though you’re surrounded by friends?
Is it simply an emotion, which changes with time, yet leaves a timeless imprint?
Or is it the loss of the silver lining on this very cloudy day?