Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Return of the DCP Queen

Every MBA out there is aware of that one dreaded concept of grading, which makes absolutely no logical sense, and gives rise to some of the worst memories of life.
Class Participation.
Mark kids on the basis of the amount they speak up during class, ensuring mass attention and good class dynamics.
Yeah, sure.
Every class room from nursery till the last possible course you could do in life always has that one irritating person, the one who always has way too many questions, and way too many opinions s/he graciously likes to share with the world.
“I actually have three points to make about what you just said…a)…..”
This is what the education system of this country does. It empowers these people. It causes….[suspense]…. DESPERATE CLASS PARTICIPATION!! [shocking music!!]
So its only expected that once I left MICA, I safely assumed that I had seen the last of DCP for a long long long time to come.
And then I joined yoga.
You know yoga…that nice relaxing meditative exercise…helps you get in touch with your inner self…calms you down….
And then I met her…the..ack…DCP Aunty!

Scene 1
Instructor: It is important at all times to understand the difference between your mind..and your brain…
DCPA: Oooh! Oooh!! I know!! There is a left brain and a right brain…and one is for….”
[Complete Silence]
Instructor: [clears throat] Yeah so as I was saying…

Scene 2
Instructor: 1……..2………3……….4……….
DCPA: 3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..
Confused and now totally out of sync class: WTF……

Scene 3
Instructor: Today we will do balancing exercises….
DCPA: Oh oh oh! I will do them well today…just you see…I’ve been practicing in all my free time!!
Instructor: Erm…good for you.
Rest of Class: ^%^&^$!!!

Scene 4
Instructor [irritable after the entire class not knowing whose counts to follow this day]: Please count in your heads and do the exercise at your own pace.
DCPA: Oh, I slept really well, and now I have so much pent up energy inside me, I feel like exercising a lot!
Instructor: Sometimes the problem with people with a lot of pent up energy is that not only does it show in their physical behavior, but mentally as well. They don’t know how to pay attention to other people and basic instructions.
[Deathly silence in the room]
After two minutes…
DCPA: Wait, are you talking about me??

And that was the last we saw of that sweet, bulgy, venom spewing DCP Aunty.

Now if you don’t mind, I need to go back to my deep state of meditation…the amazing art of being mentally asleep and physically alert in office.


Neha said...

Haha!!! Totally loved it! :) Specially the "not knowing whose counts to follow" part! :)

wanderer said...

ur blog has gone cold again.. pls post sumthin to brighten our boring lives!

Atrisa said...

I really, throughout the post, kept thinkin it was autobiographical :P