Sunday, March 18, 2007

Lessons Learnt

Tired of traveling for almost two hours in the extremely crowded Dwarka metro, I finally shifted to a hostel in North Campus. Now the first question that most of my old friends asked me was, “Is it a co-ed hostel?”
“Obviously not!!”
Shocked looks…doubtful faces….Are-you-crazy-you-wont-last-a-day expressions.
Ya…thanks for the huge amount of support guys.
First weekend home after a week in my hostel, Dad asks, “Have you fought with any of your room-mates yet?”
Man….nobody could believe that I could actually survive in a girls' hostel. You should’ve heard the number of warnings my dear old sis gave me before shifting, requesting, nay, telling me till the last minute that I was making a huge mistake.
And so, among all the friendly advice and goodwill, I finally shifted into a hostel in November.
And of course, I’m still there, and I barely have any complaints.

Now having been in such close contact with girls, for, pretty much the first time in my life, I actually learnt a lot of things, some things which I knew and were confirmed, and some that I had never thought possible. So here it is, my list of lessons from a girls’ hostel:

It’s confirmed, girls are the screechiest and noisiest creatures on the planet.

Contrary to popular belief, girls can be extremely dirty (I’m talking weeks of pending laundry, which stays pending until the almirah starts stinking. I actually know a girl who lends out her clothes to other girls quite happily, in the hope they’ll wash it and give it back).

When a girl says she’ll take just two minutes, she really means at least fifteen (This gets doubled if she said it for the amount of time she’s gonna take in the bathroom. I have never reached college on time if my roomie got to the bathroom before me).

All those chick flicks (Never been kissed, Mean girls, She’s all that etc.) do not exaggerate anything, some girls are just pure bitches and need to be smacked.

Nine out of every ten girls have a boyfriend who apparently has unlimited balance on his cell, so they can talk all day and night. Now the ratio for guys is something like four out of every ten have a girlfriend. Quite interesting, considering that the Indian Planning Commission is worried about an adverse sex ratio… Maybe the census isn’t accurate enough.

Boyfriends are THE highest priority. Nothing else matters. Period.

Girls tend to go a tad bit crazy (read: extremely asylum suited insane) around Valentines Day. They actually make groups, exchange ideas about heart shaped balloons, heart shaped cakes, heart shaped photo frames…you get my drift…. If boyfriends actually got together and compared their gifts….well they might just be almost identical.

Cat-fights do take place in hostels. I was fortunate enough to witness one on my first day in the hostel. It consists of slapping, pulling hair, shouting, screaming, abusing… all the abuses in the world won’t really make a difference, but never, NEVER call a girl a BEHENJI…. THAT’S what makes the fight really serious!!

A MAJOR advantage of staying in a hostel: your wardrobe gets extended to ten times its usual size….sharing is one of the simplest things our parents taught us.

Girls are also capable of doing crazy stuff, be it dancing on the terrace, or writing their names with fire and deo on the walls. (That actually comes quite close to my brother burning lizards in his hostel using the same apparatus, we’re just not that gross)

Girls are sweet enough to clean your puke when you’re drunk, and stupid enough to pour water on your head to make you stop puking.

Bitching IS fun.

Being bitched about isn’t.

Living with girls for so many hours does tend to turn one, well, into quite a bit of a girl.

At the end of the day, when you’re low, when your boyfriend acts like an ass, and when you feel like crying….. I guess…. Girls are a LOT better than guys to make you feel better.

Don’t misunderstand me. I still prefer guys to girls any day. And I resent being called girly, which is what my friends have started calling me recently. But my patience and tolerance level with girls has certainly increased. They’re not THAT bad after all!


Dhruv said...

I sometimes used to wish that if I ever was invisible , I would go into a girl's hostel.


Now I better stay away, visible or not visible

Awesome post! ( As usual :P )

Dhruv said...

On 2nd thought

I would still want to go!

The sacrifice is tooo big!


zombie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zombie said... now now....after readin yer post i'd just like ta say/ask three things....

1. well, what all in this was written keepin miss bose in mind???

2. u too gave me a 'heart shaped self baked cake' on valentines...

3. and gurls wibbe gurls...n thats y i love em...nd love u more than the others of course...


Amiya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amiya said...

Fantastically hilarious post! One of the funniest things I've read in a long, long while. I'm still chuckling, Shreya, haha!!! Looking forward to more such posts.

(Uhh, I had to delete that post cuz Orkut coding's stronger in my head. The square brackets y'know. I hate being addicted to anything.)

Richa Bhardwaj said...

hilarious stuff!

And does that tell me to stay away from a hostel or what! I'd neither want to share stuff nor being bitched about. And certainly not tolerate someone with a stinky cupboard around me!

But yes, girls are whom you can go to when you need to cry. Boys get weird that time.

shreya said...

@Dhruv - Im shocked that u even thought bout giving up your wish for even those 3 mins!!! ;)

@Sahil - Sweetie, i stay in tht hostel as well....but the cake wasnt cuz of those discussion sessions.. :)
Oh, and not tht much was bout miss bose...tho, sum of it was!!!

@Amiya - Woman, i can never even think of matching upto your articles....i still laugh when i think bout your bachelor of arts post!! n yes, orkut does tend to get to us doesnt it?

@Richa - I dont think its possible to avoid being bitched about...unless u shun the entire female community, and some males as well!! as for the sharing n stinkiness....well, it gets worse if u do lend sum clothes n then get them back stinking!!!

paras said...

hehee...really funny post...hmmm seems like u just dont wana be like a girl...n its very apparent dat u hate quite a few things bout girls for eg. Bitching...
guess the hostel has had a big effect on you....u sure hav inculcated that trait...coz if u read the post all over again u'd seems like all you are trying to do is Bitch about the female form of your age!!! :P

Jayant said...

You know, Amiya told me to read this post and said that she could just imagine me laughing my ass off while reading it, and guess what... I was! :D This was SO funny! And so true! Especially the part about some boyfriends having unlimited balance on their cell phones, 9 out 10 girls having boyfriends while only 4 out of 10 guys having girlfriends, some girls being pure bitches...oh boy, just everything is so true!

Again, awesome post! Keep 'em coming girl!

abhi said...

nice post..
amazing writing still...
close to chetan bhagat...

and jst for the record. burning a lizard is fun.

Tarun said...

I would have never thought it possible (i remember being one of the ppl who told you it is a bad idea)... but you did fit in after all. Am so happy for you... will make for a much easier life. Awesomely written post btw.

shreya said...

@ Jayant - Hehe... Thanx!

@ Abhishek - Oh puhleez....u mustve had a charred body in your room after tht...yuck!!!

@ Tarun - I feel so good proving all of u wrong!! :P